February 2012
6 posts
She never sent it
Dear Dorian,
Life would be a lot easier if we were able to control other people to do our bidding, but since we can’t, it is not. I have said before that I never wanted you for my own, and I believe your great act of foolishness was never believing me at all and assuming I meant it the other way round; I didn’t. Even so, something happened while I wasn’t looking, something ran...
4 tags
Daylight
Mossy walls and the earthy ground, it all swirled up against her bare hands and feet and she could guide herself through the darkness by following the slippery touch of the stones - then again, maybe Martha had just grown so used to her own blindness it didn’t matter anymore if it was as dark as eternal night time, she ultimately did not care. Numbness, could it be? A thousand thorns...
January 2012
7 posts
As I part
I will close the windows and lock the doors and pat the cat one last time. I will eat my favourite dessert and drink a good glass of wine and I will pack each and everyone of my things carefully, and it will take so long you’ll think I’ve given up; but I will part.
I will dance away in the streets and tiptoe around the ever-growing tension between you and I, not really sure if I...
3 tags
Nana
I’ve always found some strange kind of refuge in graveyards. I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve walked around them, sat around in them, with friends or by myself, merely to be there and enjoy the silence. A million things would come to my mind in the silence and I would look around for the dates of death of the people buried around me, especulating what kind of lives could...
I think
I might be going insane
2 tags
clear as clearwaters, she wrote:
Dear Dorian,
I finally understand myself now but I don’t quite get you. I’m not sure I ever will, in fact, because this is such an unusual configuration of things for me; actually feeling things without thinking them first, and here I am, Dorian, open-heartedly writing you a letter despite the unsure silence that has been hanging around the both of us.
I feel it, so. I really enjoy...
December 2011
21 posts
Everything that happened since
(the tenth)
Has been 100% brain-free. I may be done thinking.
the tenth time my brain chose the ways of my heart
I took it in until it made me crack. I may have fed my heart on brains longer than I should.
the ninth time my brain chose the ways of my heart
It was all a great misunderstanding
the eighth time my brain chose the ways of my...
A stroll down memory lane didn’t end so well.
the seventh time my brain chose the ways of my...
The unknown seemed incredibly attractive until I got to know it. It was just another moron.
the sixth time my brain chose the ways of my heart
It was at a party and I kind of didn’t want to sleep on anybody’s couch.
the fifth time my brain chose the ways of my heart
It was a long, long desillusion caused by intentional leading-on and excessive good looks.
I was very persistent.
the fourth time my brain chose the ways of my...
I needed to be the first among my friends to have kissed a boy. I settled for the first one to really like me (or so it seemed he did).
the second and third times my brain chose the ways...
I was ten and I decided I had to like somebody so I was okay with liking this guy in my class. The same thing happened when I was eleven and changed schools.
1 tag
the first time my brain chose the ways of my heart
I was six years old and I decided to date my best friend in kindergarden. We would hold hands eventually and for a while he even dated another girl at the same time and I remember not really caring. They were all my friends anyway.
2 tags
Thunderstorms
She came to a halt at the edge of the porch, right where the fence was missing and the whole world was underneath. And the gray clouds had been gathering for a while now, and the air smelled like sweet earthy rain, and every breath was a taste of freedom right into her lungs, expanding and contracting endlessly without even having to think; why do we think at all? Some things are better left...
November 2011
11 posts
3 tags
1 tag
Still in the rabbit hole digging around in dirty dirt and everytime I reach the edges I seem to slip back down.
The iron in the earth feels bitter
against my tongue.
Control is unachievable
We might as well just let it go.
October 2011
17 posts
Lately I’ve had the feeling I’m not as mentally stable as I’d like to be. Almost as if everything hits me twice as hard. Gashes are twice as deep and the falls are twice as tall…
How do we get rid of that which hurts? I’ve tried everything and come to the conclusion that I can do little else but wait for it to go away; it’ll stop hurting, eventually. But...
